A Big Heart

The world lost a man Friday with a heart of gold.  I first met Ernie Cauthen when I was in high school.  He was married to his high school sweetheart, Glenda.  At that point in my life, I didn't realize what an impact this couple would have in my life & how 28 yrs later I'd be working with him.

We even took a church ski trip together & due to rough conditions, we rode on a toboggan while ski patrol skied us down the mountain at a breakneck speed.  I just remember holding on for my dear life & praying we would end up at the bottom of the mountain in one piece.  Our lives would intertwine over the years, as Ernie began work at my dad's elevator business.  Over the years, it was "Ernie can fix this, Ernie can do that, Ernie can come over & look at it, let me call Ernie, have you called Ernie & Ernie is on his way". 

He designed & built my kitchen almost 10 yrs ago. Some people asked, "Why are you letting him design it" and I replied, he's done this so many times - he knows what I need & how to build it.  He built it to last, built it to stay & built it right.

To even recall all he's done for my family, would entail writing a book.  The time's he fixed flats, fixed a leaking sink, fixed an outlet/wall switch, jumped a car off, helped paint rooms, helped remodel houses, worked extra hours, endless weekends, cut grass, swept, cleaned, the list can go on and on and on.  Two weeks ago my dryer quit, who did I call ?  Ernie of course.  He told me exactly what to check - I didn't believe it would make my dryer work - but it did.  There was a piece of string keeping the dryer door connecting to the latch & once I removed it - poof - magic - the dryer worked.

I'm going to miss hearing him come down the hall, teasingly ask me when my phone rings "Is that your latest boyfriend?  You know you can tell me - what's his name, what does he do, is he a Christian & does he treat you right". He always worried about me, worried that I'd meet another wrong one, & always wanted me to find a good one.  I know that if I could find a perfect guy - I'd want one like the Ernie I knew & loved.

Four years ago when my mom was in the hospital, Glenda & Ernie were right there.  They were at the hospital constantly, checking in on all of us, showing us love, support & doing so much for us.  When my mom was going to come home from the hospital, they were the first I called to ask if they could come help us get the house ready.   They came over to help clean, paint, & get the room ready.  They were there the next day when my mom left this earth for her heavenly home.  They were there at the house to receive guests, family, friends & to just be such steady rocks when our lives seemed to be at such a loss.  Whenever there was a loss or need, Glenda showed up with a basket of goodies & Ernie had the coolers full of ice & drinks.

Today at my dad's looking at all the destruction around us from the tornado, my dad said "I don't know what to do, but I know if Ernie was here - I could just call him & he would know what to do". That is so true & so many times today, I wished I could have dialed his #, heard his voice say "what can I do to help". He should have been called "Mr Fix It" because there wasn't much he couldn't fix or build.

We played cards together, laughed together, cried together, talked about old times, fun times, the good, the bad, all about life, kids, grandkids & work.  I'm glad for the all times we've shared, glad this past Thursday we chatted before he left the office for the last time.  He was excited as always, about going to Arkansas to visit his son, daughter-in-law & newest grandson.  I said as always, "have fun & take lots of pictures".  He said have a good weekend - see you on Monday.

When I say this man had a Big Heart - he was a Godly man, a man that didn't mind carrying his wife's packages or even her purse.  He enjoyed getting up on a cold winter morning - starting a fire in the fireplace for her, making her coffee & bringing it to her in bed.  He was about doing for others - more than for himself.  He was about laughter, he was about loving his kids / grandkids / especially his wife.  To know him was to know he was a dependable man, a man with a heart of gold, & a man with a love of God.

He's not a man that we can replace, not even at work.  He's not a man that liked to be idle, he liked doing.  But he did have one vice that he loved to do - he enjoyed solitaire & enjoyed coming into my office to tell me he had won the game.

Well ... the game for him in life on this earth has come to an end - I know heaven is celebrating with having him there & knowing my mom, she's already showed him all around.  They're sitting around - drinking coffee, swapping stories, showing pictures of the kids, grandkids, talking about work, listening to the big choir in heaven & enjoying their day.

Thank you God for sharing with us this man with a Big Heart, for letting us have him for a while & letting him touch our lives & hearts in such a strong & positive way.  "BIG E" - we're going to miss you so much - the world won't be the same, but we know you're okay & we'll be okay as well.  Thank you for being my friend, my big brother in Christ & for always being there.  We'll watch over your family, & we'll be there for them like you've always been there for us.

Hope for tomorrow

We all look to the events of the day to wonder how things will be tomorrow.  Sometimes the happiness of today carries over to the happiness of tomorrow.  Sadness has a way of entering our lives regardless of what is going on around us.

I remember the day of my mom's funeral.  I had taken my dog outside before going over to the church.  I was standing outside watching the cars past by, wondering where they were going, what they were thinking and if they were aware of things around them.  Everything had progressed so fast the last couple of days, that I felt I needed time to stop a moment so I could just catch up.  I needed that moment to just absorb all my thoughts and try to make sense of things in my life.

We hear of tragedies every day, loss of life, loss of property, countries at war, innocent people captured & killed, and we feel we need to try and make sense of it, understand it, and try to process it.  Life waits on no one, there is no way to make time stand still, there is no way to go back and "redo" an action or emotion, there is no way to stop things from happening.

I remember the moment my doctor told me I had cancer, I don't think I even processed it or took time to realize what that meant - I went into overdrive, thinking of all the things I needed to get done, and prepare others for it - instead of myself.  Surgery - check, treatments - check, follow up appointments - check, return to work - check.  Next?  The second time I had cancer it was different.  It felt as though I had been punched in the stomach, I wasn't prepared, wasn't ready & felt someone had forgotten to give me the script.  But, the same occurred.  Surgery - check, return to work pronto - check, treatments - check, and life continued.

I don't deny I was blessed, given a 2nd chance, given an opportunity to do better, be better & live better.  Have I done all of that?  At times I have, then there are times - I've failed.  There are times at night I have regrets, wishing I had said something different, done it different, lived it different and reacted differently.

I can't change the person I am, but I can change the way I react, the way I speak & the reactions I give to others.  There are times I admire people that seem to have it all together - all of the time.  Maybe they don't really and it's all a facade.  But maybe they do & they're the example of how the rest of us want to be or should be.  But I am me - that's why God made me - to be me.  Not to say I can't or shouldn't improve, but I am who I am.

I know you know the people I'm referring to - they have the seemingly perfect life, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect pets, & everything just seems so right.  Well, my life isn't perfect.  I have a crazy dog, I have a mean cat, my kids aren't perfect, I'm not perfect & my house isn't perfect.  I love my life - love my kids - love my pets and love the fact that each day - is a new day for hope.  Hope to do better, live better, be better & love more.

Is there hope for tomorrow?  I believe so - if we make the best of today, do more for each other, pray for one another and encourage one another.

Christmas

Where would life be without Christmas, memories of past experiences, family, traditions, stockings, and presents.  The things we take for granted at Christmas, remind us as we get older - how precious those moments are in life.  We wake up and realize yesterday is gone, traditions are forgotten, family has moved away or is no longer with us and we ache for those memories of the past.

The joy of a child on Christmas morning as they hurry to see what Santa has left.  Stockings overflowing with fun items, candy & fruit, packages under the tree, and on the couch or beside it, the real Santa gift.  As we grow older, the things we expect soon make us realize the Christmas joy we once felt is truly meant for those that are kids and/or kids at heart.

Don't lose the joy, the fun in giving, the thought in planning, and the true meaning of Christmas.  Spend it with friends and family and never take it for granted.  Merry Christmas to all.

Hello friend

I thought back to yesterday & wondered how you were doing. I wondered if you had noticed we had stopped communicating by phone or even email. It seems time has gone by, and we didn’t notice another day had passed without a hello.



I walked last night, felt the breeze on my face and wondered where you were & if you were okay. I wonder if you remember our long conversations, our laughter at my silly blonde moments & the antics of my crazy dog. I smile at times when I think of you, and I wonder where things went wrong. We drifted apart, and after a while, we just forgot to say hello.


Hello my friend, I hope all is well with you. I hope life is bringing to you all the desires & wishes of your heart. I hope at times you think of me with a smile & I’m glad we shared smiles, laughter & tears. Always know I’m your friend, no matter how much time passes us by.


If I see you on the street, I’ll say hello, if I pass you on the road, I’ll wave and smile, and if we email or text, I’ll respond and say hello. No matter the time limit, no matter the distance, there are some people that are friends forever. Thank you for being that friend.

Beaches vs Oil

I’m a beach person. I love the beach, listening to the waves crash, the smells, the vast open space of the water, and the beauty of the sunset as it hits the water. I love seafood – grilled shrimp, crab legs, lobster, etc. I see it as a thing of the past – who wants seafood drenched in oil?


I know I’ve been going on and on about this oil spill. But the beaches I love are in my southern states. I enjoy going to Orange Beach, San Destin, Pensacola, and Dauphin Island. I’m wondering how long it will be before these areas will ever be the same. Will wildlife recover? Marshes survive? Marine life survive? I don’t know, and I know no one else does as well. The news reports are saying it’s the worse oil spill in U.S. history and the sad thing is it’s not over.


Seeing the pictures of seagulls, hermit crabs and birds covered in oil, brings tears to my eyes. These creatures have no idea what is going on and why it’s happening to them. I’m sure they sense fear and are bewildered wondering why and how.


I don’t know what it’s going to take to fix this mess, stop it, clean it up, and make sure it NEVER happens again. Every group, every force we have, every environmental group, governmental group, needs to make sure there are laws, regulations, fines, etc enforced to make sure our beaches, waters, wildlife, marine life, etc is never in this position again. Preparedness – where was it?


I hope the other companies drilling for oil in our Gulf learn from this bad situation. Take preparedness action, take your job seriously, and make sure we never have this happen again. I don’t have the answers or the solutions; I just know the fallout of this spill will carry on for a long time.


I want to walk on the beach, feel the sand beneath my feet, the breeze on my face, white seagulls diving for fish, hermit crabs crawling on the beach, and the smells of the ocean without the burning sensation of oil all around me.

Fowl cries help...

I’m a bird in the vast sky – I fly from ocean to ocean seeking food. As I flew across the Gulf, I noticed so many fish lying on the top water. Eureka I thought, wow – fish everywhere waiting for me. As I dove down to grab a bite, I in turn was grabbed by a slick wet thick dark mass. I panicked as I tried to free myself, but to no avail. It was thick like glue and soon was stuck to my feathers. I cried out a warning to my friends above me, do not come near – the ocean is full of death.

I could see the shoreline in the distance and the waves carried me away. I struggled to free myself, but nothing could free me from this dark mass. I could hear people talking nearby and heard them say words of an oil spill. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew the Gulf was not the same. As I drifted towards shore, I saw people looking with tears in their eyes. The thick mass had reached the shore, the sand glistened from the oil, the marshes were slowly dying, and you could see the destruction all around.

I don’t understand why someone would do this; it doesn’t make sense to me. I’m just a bird in a vast blue sky, but now I’m stuck in a dark mass of oil. Help me to understand, save me and my friends, fix the waters and fix my habitat, because this is MY home. I’m meant to fly, not drift in this dark mass – make my waters livable again.

Oil and water doesn't mix

I'm just a fish in a vast space - filled with water. Today as I swam, I noticed something different - something that felt strange & scary. I looked around me and noticed how it was affecting those swimming with me, they were having trouble breathing, and soon they floated to the top. I thought they were going to get a look at what was transpiring, but then I realized they weren't coming back.

What could it be? Who is doing this? And … why. I swam closer to the big objects in the water to see if I could find the answers. I heard people talking about an oil spill, I wasn’t sure what it meant but I knew it had to be the strange feeling. I heard them say it wouldn’t hurt the wild life, but I wondered if they had seen my friends floating nearby.

I hear talk of blame, I hear excuses, but it doesn’t change the feeling, it doesn’t bring back life, and I still see the dark ugly spill all around me.

I’m just a fish in a vast space, but this is my home these people have invaded, and it’s my home that’s being damaged. Do they care? Or is it okay to lose a few fish, a few birds, and other living creatures? It matters to me, this is my home – this is my vast space.

In preparing for seasons, we get ready. For summer, we make sure the air condition, the ceiling fans, and all areas of coolness are ready. For winter, we make sure we have fire wood; we make sure the heaters are ready to be turned on for the cold blistery days. For spring, we start getting ready for the upcoming summer months. There are still days we need the heat, and there are days we’ll need the AC. For the hurricane season, we prepare our evacuation routes, we buy bottled water, flashlights and all essentials needed to sustain us. During a tornado season, we ready ourselves and family by getting in a closet, having a radio tuned to the latest news and weather reports. To prepare us for an oil spill … where is the plan of action? What measures are taken and why isn’t there “OIL SPILL PREPAREDNESS MEETINGS”. It seems we have so many groups, so many plans, so many people – but no action of how to prevent such things, how to prepare for them, and how to stop them from happening.

We can’t always predict the weather, the path of a tornado or hurricane, but from past weather disasters, we’ve learned to be prepared, we’ve learned to be on top of our game and learned to take immediate action.

It’s time we learned from the weather. It’s time for a plan of action so they’ll be no more loss in the water. It’s time to take action. No more excuses – just get it done NOW.