Monday, March 21, 2011

Hope for tomorrow

We all look to the events of the day to wonder how things will be tomorrow.  Sometimes the happiness of today carries over to the happiness of tomorrow.  Sadness has a way of entering our lives regardless of what is going on around us.

I remember the day of my mom's funeral.  I had taken my dog outside before going over to the church.  I was standing outside watching the cars past by, wondering where they were going, what they were thinking and if they were aware of things around them.  Everything had progressed so fast the last couple of days, that I felt I needed time to stop a moment so I could just catch up.  I needed that moment to just absorb all my thoughts and try to make sense of things in my life.

We hear of tragedies every day, loss of life, loss of property, countries at war, innocent people captured & killed, and we feel we need to try and make sense of it, understand it, and try to process it.  Life waits on no one, there is no way to make time stand still, there is no way to go back and "redo" an action or emotion, there is no way to stop things from happening.

I remember the moment my doctor told me I had cancer, I don't think I even processed it or took time to realize what that meant - I went into overdrive, thinking of all the things I needed to get done, and prepare others for it - instead of myself.  Surgery - check, treatments - check, follow up appointments - check, return to work - check.  Next?  The second time I had cancer it was different.  It felt as though I had been punched in the stomach, I wasn't prepared, wasn't ready & felt someone had forgotten to give me the script.  But, the same occurred.  Surgery - check, return to work pronto - check, treatments - check, and life continued.

I don't deny I was blessed, given a 2nd chance, given an opportunity to do better, be better & live better.  Have I done all of that?  At times I have, then there are times - I've failed.  There are times at night I have regrets, wishing I had said something different, done it different, lived it different and reacted differently.

I can't change the person I am, but I can change the way I react, the way I speak & the reactions I give to others.  There are times I admire people that seem to have it all together - all of the time.  Maybe they don't really and it's all a facade.  But maybe they do & they're the example of how the rest of us want to be or should be.  But I am me - that's why God made me - to be me.  Not to say I can't or shouldn't improve, but I am who I am.

I know you know the people I'm referring to - they have the seemingly perfect life, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect pets, & everything just seems so right.  Well, my life isn't perfect.  I have a crazy dog, I have a mean cat, my kids aren't perfect, I'm not perfect & my house isn't perfect.  I love my life - love my kids - love my pets and love the fact that each day - is a new day for hope.  Hope to do better, live better, be better & love more.

Is there hope for tomorrow?  I believe so - if we make the best of today, do more for each other, pray for one another and encourage one another.