Season for change

It's the holiday season, Christmas parties, Christmas shows, Christmas events, and programs. We get wrapped up in the moment, in the festivities, and the hectic season. There's a commercial on tv where a child asks "what about baby Jesus?", he's watching his family run around getting ready for a party, cooking, cleaning, wrapping gifts, and he reminds them of what this time of year should be about in our lives. It's not about the presents, the parties, the travel, it's about Jesus, the true meaning of what Christmas is all about - the birth of Christ, and the beginning of hope again in the world.

Lately it seems everyone is wanting to do a search of their ancestors, to find out "where" the family originated, what area of the country and what race and nationality. I find it "strange" that as we go thru life, and after several generations we still have the same choices in filling out any form or document on race. I'm "white", my ancestors were Scottish-Irish and American Indian. I refer to myself as just an American of the Caucasian race. I wonder at times where people get the ideas or mindset that because a person is mixed, or half of one or the other, then they must "pick" what they are in this world. Back when my family obviously crossed the "race lines", did we become Indian or did we remain Scottish-Irish, or when we entered the new world of American, did we cease to exist from our former lands, and just become an American?

When do we, or do we ever just say we're Americans? Why does there have to be a distinction among us, we have American Indians, we have African Americans, Spanish Americans, etc. I understand the wanting to remember your heritage, but it seems there should come a time where you just say you're American. You came here for a reason, or were brought here for a reason, maybe it's time to just be an American. Maybe there needs to be more unity in this country, and less of people trying to be separate.

We live in a country where races do mix, where people marry other cultures, regardless of a person's choice to marry, people need to remember we're all created by God, in his image, and according to his purpose. We have a purpose in life, and God gave us free will to make choices in life - to choose good or evil, and based upon our choices - we still have to answer to God one day.

When we hear about choice - I think about life, I think about children. In my opinion (and I'm not into debating this issue - it's my choice of my opinion), birth begins at conception. Abortion is a choice, but it's not a choice I support. Too often I see people not accepting a child for being born out of wedlock and/or a child born from another race. Maybe if we all did a little family research and see where we "came from", then maybe we'd be more receptive and realize that once upon a time, someone excepted a family remember that "crossed over" the line we have created in our own minds.

In my Bible, and in my experiences, as well in the many times spent in church, I'm taught God is the one and only judge of what is, what will be, and what can be in this world. Maybe it's time we judged less, loved more, and remember the real reason for the season.

Make Memories

I love Fall, the leaves are starting to change, football has started, and it makes for good cuddling weather.

When I think of Fall, I think of our family vacation trips to Gatlinburg, TN, to Dollywood, and the numerous visits to Cracker Barrel. I think we visited every Cracker Barrel from Mississippi to Tennessee. My parents always wanted to leave late at night or early morning "thinking" my kids would sleep on the way - NOT. As soon as they loaded up in the van, they were ready to be there. My daughter went through a stage where she refused to get off of any roller coaster ride, the more daring, the more she loved it. She had no fear of rides, and loved the speed, turns and upside down motion and never screamed except when you forced her to get off.

My son was always fascinated by the Eagle shows at Dollywood. We happened to be there right before they were getting ready to release some Eagles out into the wild. I have a lot of memories from those trips, and am glad my kids were able to experience so much. If you've never experienced a family road trip, you need to do it at least once in your life.

If we didn't go to Tennessee for Thanksgiving, we spent Thanksgiving usually at my grandmother's. Every year my grandmother made homemade chicken and dumplings and lima beans. We would have turkey, dressing, and all the trimmings, but her chicken and dumplings beat anything. I miss the family gatherings, dinners on the ground, and spending time with family both near and afar. I miss the anticipation of visits, of the holidays, and I miss having all the family together. Seems life has taken us in different directions and in different areas of the states, lives are busy, too busy to take time out and spend moments making memories with each other.

Maybe we all need to take more time for each other, drop a note, make a phone call, and plan a trip to all be together. We can't undo yesterday, we're only promised today. There's a song that states we should live everyday like it's our last. Maybe we should remember that, what would we do if it were our last day? Would we spend time alone, spend time filling in all the minutes with those we love? Dance as though no one was watching? Be carefree? Love like no other? If we did it on our last day, why not do it everyday? Make memories ... spend time with family and friends and just enjoy having each moment with each other.

My pet ...

Do you ever wonder why people carry on conversations with animals as though they can completely understand what's being said to them? I really think my dog understands most of what I say. He sleeps in a dog bed, but it's on my bed. He goes walking with me, rides in a dog car seat, and goes to work with me. He has such a hard life lol.

I never thought I'd be "one of those people", with a dog. But Char is smart! He knows the names of my kids, he knows what it means when I say "it's time to go to work", "do you need to go outside", "it's time to go to bed", and his favorite is "where's Pumpkin?" Pumpkin is my 16 year old cat, that until having Char in his life, lived a life of freedom inside my house. Thanks to doggie gates, he does have areas he can escape to and hide from Char the Terror. Due to Pumpkin's age, he's now given in and allows Char to lick his ears, and occasionally you can hear a purr.

My dog is my protection, he may only be 12 pounds of fur, but he has a keen eye and a sharp bark if he senses trouble. He makes sure that stray cats & squirrels are aware of his presence. I also trust Char's judgment of my dates, there have been a few he didn't like and he was so right in that area! One guy suggested it was him or the dog, well - obviously Char won that fight lol. I don't dress Char in outfits or with bows, he's just a dog (but don't tell him he's only a dog - he thinks he is more than that).

A few months after I got Char, my mom went in the hospital for almost two weeks. She was able to come home for a few hours and I was up at her house with Char. He jumped up on her hospital bed, she turned and said "there's the crazy dog". I think that's something I'll never forget, because it wasn't too long after that she started to leave us. Within a few hours we were back at the hospital for the last time but the memory of her remembering how crazy Char really is - will stay with me forever.

Yea he is crazy at times, but he makes me laugh, listens to my crazy stories, and he forces me to go walking with him. My den is full of doggy toys & chew toys, but life without Char wouldn't be the same. He's waiting for me when I come home from a date, to listen to my tales of how it went, and how I vent about things in my life. He may not have a vocal opinion, but he does seem to listen.

He may be a little crazy - but he's my crazy dog, Charcoal.

Just Wondering Why ....

There's a subject we rarely discuss, we whisper it in secret, we wonder, we ponder, but yet we never have the answers. Probably anyone reading this blog has been touched in some way by this subject, either by a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, co-worker, or a neighbor - the subject is Suicide.

I don't claim to have all the answers, all the truths, and all the knowledge. But personally it's had a bearing on my life. I started thinking tonight the number of people I've known that have chosen this act for whatever reason or cause. After thinking for several minutes, I realized it's touched me more than I have realized. I then ask myself, have we failed as friends, neighbors, acquaintances, family, or whatever our connection is to the person? I think us all experience situations in our lives that maybe we don't feel we know how to handle: whether it's a spat with a friend, a broken heart, or just an act of desperation. No matter the reason, no matter the why - the person is feeling there is no other way. I think we as a community, as a city, as a county, as a state, as a country, and as a world - we all need to step up to the plate. The whys after the fact follow us forever; we each question ourselves and ask ourselves could we have done more.

I was about 21-22 when I first heard of a suicide that I can remember. I was renting a house and painting a room when I received the phone call. My mom called to tell me the news; it was a family friend that had cancer. If I had been given a line up and asked to pick someone that might do it - he would have never been my choice. But he was going through cancer at the time, the outlook wasn't good, and I'm sure he felt at the time it was his only option. I really don't know what he was thinking, or if it was just an act of desperation. I know what I felt. I felt shock and disbelief. I thought of his family and how they must be hurting.

There is a scripture that comes to mind, Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest". My heart goes out to those that have dealt with a loss due to suicide. You should feel no blame or guilt. I believe it’s a choice that we might never understand, an act made out of desperation, an act of misunderstanding, and act of fear of facing whatever is causing the pain. Sometimes it's hard to see what's right in front of us because we're too close to the person or situation. Sometimes people sit in judgment and say "I never would do that", but we don't know the thoughts of that person, the pain they were experiencing, and the problem they felt had no solution. If we've never had to experience their life, then we have no clue how we would react.

I do hope that if anything can come out of just posting a blog, that if anyone is thinking the thought, contemplating it, or have considered it - that they will reach out and ask for help. Sometimes we just don't know what to do, but having someone to listen; someone to just be there can make all the difference in the world. I do know personally those left behind are hurting. I know no matter how much time passes they still ask why, they still place blame on themselves, and still reflect on why they didn't see the signs. There comes a time where the blame game has to stop, there has to be healing, there has to be forgiveness, and we have to just let go and let God.

There is a song by Rich Mullins called "Awesome God" the chorus is "our God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power, and love. Our God is an awesome God". So often we just sing the chorus, but the verses to this song are powerful as well.

To the families, friends, and acquaintances that have experienced a loss from suicide, just know that prayers and thoughts are with you and know that we ask God to give you comfort, understanding and peace.

Password?

It seems we can't do anything now days without a password. We log in / we log out / we're asked our user id name and our password. I am wondering what's going to happen if we all have a moment, a memory lapse, an overload of our brain cells, and we all just go blank on our passwords. Will the world stop spinning? Will the lights go out? Will cable disconnect? Will our "land" lines and cell phones cease to exist? Will everything just stop?

Oh my! I can see it now, I arrive home and my DVR has not taped my shows, eek - oh no, oh wait it'll be okay, I can go to FANCAST.com or HULU.com and I can watch them there. Eeeek oh wait, I've forgotten my password for my computer and can't log in, how on earth can I continue to exist on this earth without my lap top? Whew - wait, it's okay, I can use my cell phone and connect to the Internet. Oh no, I've forgotten my password on my cell phone, what will I do ? How can I continue without a connection to the outside world???? No cell coverage, no emails, no Internet, no TV, no cable, oh my what has happened?

It's 1965, I'm 4 years old. We don't have cable, we don't have cell phones, no laptops or Internet (whatever that is), and we have a "land" line but it's a party line. I know some of you are thinking, what in the world is a party line phone, sounds fun - can I have one? Well, a party line phone is where several people "share" the same line. Party line means you can pick up your phone and hear a conversation that doesn't involve you. (Gives a new meaning to wire tapping and eavesdropping). Also, my TV doesn't have a remote control, and it's not a flat screen or HDTV or Blue-Ray Definition, it's a TV that's the size of a 26 inch in a console cabinet that would hold a 52 inch TV. Also, I only have 3 channels - ABC/NBC/CBS. Believe it or not, the TV channels would actually go OFF the air around midnight, how did we cope with that ???

I forgot one of my passwords recently and had to answer a series of questions that apparently I had randomly picked and answered previously. Question 1: Mother's maiden name, okay that's easy. Question 2: Your favorite movie: Okay, that's only between 2-3 movies. Question 3: your favorite pet. Okay that could be based upon the time frame I set up this account, would that be a pet from the past or a present pet. Oh yea, and now remember, your answers are case sensitive. Oh great, was I in an "all caps mode" that day, or a lower case mode, or a first letter uppercase and the rest lower case? Oh no, I only have 4 chances before I'm locked out of the system ! Okay, great, I'm locked out, so I have to call customer service to speak to a representative.

The following is a replay of the phone call: "Thank you for calling *****, please listen to the following menu closely before making your selection. For English press 1, Para español aprieta 2." (it doesn't allow me to press 1 until it has given the same instructions in Spanish). At this point I start to wonder a few things, why does it only give you the choice of English or Spanish? What about the Chinese? 对汉语评论 3. What about Dutch? There are other nationalities living in America besides English and Spanish. So if we're going to offer options, I think we need to cover them all ! Oh yea, back to the phone call. After finally being able to press 1 for English, I can continue. "To better serve you please verbally answer the following questions. Please state your name. (Terri). I'm sorry, that answer was not understood, were you trying to say Mary? (No). Please state your name (now, in a louder voice - TERRI). Thank you Terri. Now is this the number you are calling about ###-###-####? (No). Alright, please enter or verbally say the number you are calling about. (601-###-####). Thank you, you entered 601-###-####, is this correct? (Yes). Please choose from the following menu so we can further assist your call. Choose 1 for bill balance, 2 for technical support, 3 for claims, 4 for long distance, 5 for (who can remember). (Okay, none of the choices are what I want - I want to talk to an actual person, so I choose 0.) I'm sorry, you have pressed an invalid key. Please choose from the following menu. Choose 1 for bill balance, choose" (okay you get the point - it's pointless).

By this point in my selection I have forgotten why I called, who I called, and why I even care. What happened to customer service where you talked to an individual? What can a computer tell me, how can a computer make me feel my problem is being addressed, being handled, and can make ME feel better that it's resolved? Last time I checked, metal boxes (computers/TVs/printers/etc) have no way of having feelings or real thoughts. Only programmed answers.

Is the world better now that we're so advanced? Isn't it great to pop a hotdog in the microwave for 15 seconds compared to boiling it for 30 minutes? Isn't it great to record your shows indefinitely rather than having to be home and watch it through the commercials or having to miss it all together? Isn't it great walking into the gym and "swiping" your card, or placing your thumb on the finger scan than walking in and giving your name? Isn't it great walking up to your car, hitting a button to enter because the "smart key" is in your pocket? Isn't it great just pushing a button to start your car without a key? Wow, technology.

I remember actually baking a cake once upon a time, using cake flour, milk, eggs, sifting, beating by hand and cooking a cake. Then there were cake mixes, all I did was add water/oil and eggs. And now I just pick up the phone, place an order and poof - there's my cake.

Back in the day if someone had used the term "speed dial" we would think they really knew how to dial a rotary phone really fast. Yep, dialing a few phone calls from a rotary phone and your fingers would have carpal tunnel syndrome for real!

My brain is a jumbled mess of passwords/codes/sign-on ids and more. But yet, I have no memory of phone numbers, that's what my cell phone is for and if I lose it, I'd be totally lost in this world. I'd be like a zombie wandering around wondering how I could call with having no numbers, it's a frightening thought! Have you ever gone through the day and realized your cell phone hasn't rung or beeped showing a new text all day and you wondered if your phone was still working? Or maybe all those in your phone all went to party somewhere and left you behind? Or they're all on a yacht soaking up the sun and left you here to wonder where they are and why they've not called or texted? When I think of texting, I think of my mom. She never got or understood this function, and often called it tex-mex.

We can email/fax/text/ etc in an instant. We use our phone to take pictures, record videos and conversations, text and even make a phone call. Do people still hand write letters and buy stamps?

I still have to ask the question, "has technology improved our lives or has technology made us lazy and less involved"? I think there are times we need to "go back in the day", go visit someone in person to say hi, have a family gathering, a family/friend reunion and talk about the good old days. I think we all need some reflection on our lives both past and present. We all need to use more customer service, friend service and relative service and be better people.

Back in the day ....

I don't want to frighten anyone, but "back in the day" we didn't have computers, video games and more than 3 channels on our tv's. But, we survived and actually used our imaginations! We played softball with family and friends, played cops and robbers, cowboys & Indians, and hide and go seek. When the sun started setting we'd wait for the bug man to drive by with his fog of spray for mosquitoes. No one thought of words such as toxic and cancer, we'd play in the fog and enjoy "disappearing" for a few minutes in all the smoke.


I even remember this old black man named "Cicero", that traveled down our street selling pots/pans and other essentials. We loved hearing his mule and wagon coming and we'd run down to the end of the driveway to wait for him to arrive. He always had such neat items on his wagon, and always had something new each time he stopped. I often wondered what became of Cicero and his mule.

I grew up in a Baptist church, there was a time when it was a thriving church we were there every time the doors were opened. We enjoyed spending our Saturdays on the bus ministry, visiting the neighborhood, witnessing, and signing people up for the bus ride on Sundays. I spent many Sundays working with the children's ministry, doing hand puppets, and spent every Summer working in VBS. "Back in the day" we had Training Union on Sunday evenings before church, and sometimes we spent that time going to the local Dairy Queen and returning for a short lesson before church.


Our Wednesday night services meant pot luck suppers at church, and prayer meeting to follow. Our church finally built a Family Life Building and we had skating, foosh ball and bumper ball tables. We weren't allowed to say the word "pool tables", apparently that was associated with bars and wasn't a good word lol. So we never were allowed to have a pool table. Friday nights and Saturday nights were spent skating. Mr. Carter ran the skating events, he taught us how to jump objects, how to skate backwards, and how to do turns. There were times the guys would play basketball on skates, it was quite exciting to watch and probably rather dangerous.


If you were the age of thirteen, you automatically played on the women's church softball team. Some took it way serious, and church softball is quite competitive. I was more into being there, seeing if there were any cute guys watching, etc. I usually played center field and would ask to play left field where few balls would come because it was okay with me if I saw little or no action on the softball field.



I'm mainly writing today's blog in memory of a friend that was a fabulous softball player, she could hit, catch, and knew how to throw a ball! She was full of personality, full of character & I can hear her voice today telling me to wake up! Most of the time I was absent from play lol my thoughts were elsewhere, and most times I was there to make the numbers even. Brenda usually played shortshop or 2nd base and I can see her now with her glove ready, in the correct position to catch the ball. I know that if there is softball game in heaven that Brenda is already decked out and ready to play. We're going to miss her here on earth, but I know she's in a far better place, and heaven just got a little more lively with her presence.


In memory of Brenda Nutt Norris - may your days of heaven be filled with fun filled days on the softball field and I know there is a celebration going on up there today. "Batter up - let's play ball!"

Being Single

I'm not sure why people think being single is so fantastic, yes I'll admit it's great in a lot of ways, but then other ways it's not so great.

For example, if there's a bug - who do you call? Well, there's not a guy in the house so you have to dispose of the bug yourself! Ugh ! Then there is garbage duty, being single it means it's ALWAYS your responsibility. Sleeping alone, that's not real fun either ! And then, there are things like a squeaky ceiling fan, an outlet in need of repair, a light switch in need of replacement - all those "little" things that married people take for granted.

On the other hand, in marriage there is the sharing thing ... sharing a bathroom / sharing a razor (ugh) / extra towels everywhere, more clothes to wash lol, sleeping with someone all the time, and having someone around you 24/7 (or so it may seem like it)!

Then I could get into the dating world - oh geez, it's not the glam as it seems, it's rough out there at times ! There are times as I'm getting dressed to go meet someone for dinner my thoughts are "Am I wasting makeup for this date?" There are times when I return home I feel that way. Some days I feel like I can't do it any more lol I'm giving up the dating, then I think - okay, maybe one more time! I keep thinking that maybe one day the right one will be out there, the one that meets all my requirements, and one that I can see spending all my todays and tomorrows with, and then I wake up and realize it was just a dream lol.

Seriously, I do believe there are good marriages, I've seem some, been around those "happy" couples and think "I want something like that". And then, I'm around some that I think "geez louise, I'm so HAPPY I'm single and not in THAT relationship" lol.

People ask me at times do I want to marry again one day since it's been 19 years since I've been married. I really do want to get married one day to the right person, at the right time, and after I've had a chance to really get to know them. But ... I am not in any hurry, and I'm not on a time schedule.

I know God has a plan for me whether it's me staying single, or me being married. Maybe I'm meant to be single, who knows? Until then, I'll keep giving it a chance and keep seeing what's out there in the dating world and who knows, maybe one day I'll say "I do".

Snappy - my lawnmower

Snappy is my very used Snapper lawn mower that I purchased last year. I do believe it was built around the age of Flintstone. We have a relationship that borders on love/hate. Before purchasing Snappy, I've never owned a riding lawnmower, never operated a riding lawnmower or anything similar - not even a 4-wheeler.

Snappy and I have had quite a few interesting moments together, some scary, and some funny. I live on a corner lot and have a ditch that is "L" shaped between my yard and the street. After several attempts of cutting the ditch, I realized it wasn't a smart idea. In part of the ditch, there are hidden sink holes. Well, I found them, and needless to say, the wheels of Snappy fell in them. The other part of the ditch retains water, and I have tried to cut that section as well. When a riding mower gets stuck in mud that's several inches thick, it doesn't budge!!

Snappy has a transmission problem that has recently given me problems at the wrong time. When I stop the mower, and then put it in gear, there is a 3-5 second hesitation before it engages in gear. Snappy then JUMPS into gear and takes off. So far, I've managed to stay on, but a couple of times -- it was questionable. Last weekend I was cutting the side between the ditch and the street, I stopped the mower, lifted the blade, turned around in a driveway to proceed to make another sweep of the grass. Snappy hesitated and then jerked, and went straight down into the ditch front first. I looked around to make sure no one was outside watching, turned the mower off, put it in neutral to DRAG it up the hill of the ditch. By then the rain had started and by the time I dragged Snappy to the garage it was as if I had taken a shower, we both were soaked.

I have a neighbor that likes to come outside when he hears me crank my mower, and I know why he does it. For several reasons: A. to help me drag it out of the ditch. B. Probably to record my efforts for "worlds craziest people" C. So he can tell the paramedics what in the world I was doing at the time I rolled the mower (so far I've not done this). I know he sits over there laughing, I haven't seen him laugh, but surely he does enjoy the free entertainment.

Since my street is rather bright with all the street lights, I thought one evening I could cut the grass as it was getting dark. Bad idea ! I almost forgot about a tree until the last moment, even though it was funny at the moment, I doubt I would have laughed if I had hit the tree head on.

One of my gutters is bent thanks to Snappy. As I was cutting near it, Snappy decided he wanted it and we made contact with it. Snappy almost didn't let go of it but I'm lucky he didn't rip it off the house.

I also have learned, never leave Snappy in park for any reason. I noticed a large limb on the ground, I stopped the mower, put it in park and raised the blade. I got off Snappy, and decided to take the limb to the street. Well, Snappy has a "vibration" problem and when I came back, Snappy was trying to climb up one of my pecan trees. He almost made it ! Note to self - never leave Snappy running !

I'm not going for yard of the year - trust me on this. I'm just glad the lawn gets mowed! I use to pay a guy to do my yard, he was wonderful - could do my entire yard in about 45 minutes including weed eating. I'm in awe. It takes me an hour and 30 minutes just to mow and another 6 weeks to complete the weed eating.

I had to weigh my priorities though: grass cutter or pedicure & manicure. I decided pedicure and manicure was more important, and so now I cut my own yard.

If you're ever in the area and you see someone flying across the yard with no plan of action or planned cutting, it's me. I'll be the one laughing as I duck under the tree limbs, and hold on for dear life. Or if you see a riderless mower, look for me in the ditch.

My Tales

I guess I'll go back to the year 2003, the beginning of some changes in my life. I knew I had a situation that I needed to address, but due to a job change I had to postpone a doctor's visit. It was January 2004 before I could get in to see a doctor. From that moment on, my life changed forever.

I was told I needed surgery immediately and it was scheduled the following week, seemed simple enough, just a routine partial Hysterectomy. I'm not fond of hospitals or surgery, but there are times when you have no choice. I went in for surgery, woke up in recovery and realized I did not have surgery. Immediately I asked why, the poor attending nurse responded with he had no idea (liar) lol. The doctor came in to tell me he had found cancer. Wow, not what I expected or wanted for that matter. He had called a specialist and was referring me to him the next day.

I went to see the specialist, he met with me, explained where the cancer was, what the plan was, and if I had any questions. I think I must have been a different type of patient, I had no questions, I had no thoughts, I just trusted in him to get it done and over with as quickly as possible. He scheduled my surgery for the next week for a total Hysterectomy. Apparently my cancer was in the latter phase and had also spread to a few of the lymph nodes. After surgery, I made rapid healing and returned to work less than 2 weeks from having surgery. I'm not one to stay at home, dwell upon things, and feel sorry for myself. I needed to be back at work, back in life, and moving on with it.

I did go through radiation external and internal and researched what all this meant, as far as the type of cancer, etc. I knew my chances of it returning were pretty high. Six month follow up CT was good news. Six months later, the cancer had returned. I had started having some side pain about a week before my doctor visit and waited it out. I sat in my car with the CT scans in hand, looking at them for changes from the previous ones six months earlier. It didn't take a doctor to realize there was something there that wasn't there previously. I sat in my car debating what to do, I had a doctor's appointment for him to actually "read" the CT, but I already knew the answer. I debated going home and forgetting it and pretending there was nothing wrong.

I know, it sounds crazy, but in dealing with cancer you don't always think in rational terms. Life changes, your outlook, your output, and the way the world views you and the way you view the world. It's hard to describe unless you've experienced it. I went to the doctor, got the actual news, and I think the first person I called was my niece, the nurse. This time the "news" hit me hard because I know cancer travels up the body and I wasn't too happy about hearing it had traveled in only six months.

I had surgery again, this time to remove my spleen, part of my pancreas, my gall bladder and a spot on my stomach. It seems the cancer was attached to my pancreas and my spleen. I first panicked it might be pancreatic cancer, but it was labeled "Recurring Endometrail Cancer". The removal of my gall bladder was just a bonus. I ended up going through chemo for 6 treatments and really didn't experience significant side effects. After my surgery, I was determined to once again return to work in record speed, and within 2 weeks of surgery I had returned to work. I'll admit, it was a harder surgery to overcome, but I was determined to get back in a routine.

People that have never experienced cancer are not aware of the emotional and physical strain associated with the disease. Any type of pain, unusual feeling, you immediately think "CANCER" it's returned, after a while you learn not to panic and trust in your instincts and go on with your life.

I think maybe I should have played it up more in the work place, I found that being seen as so "strong" and so "capable" that it backfired in many ways. I guess my advice would be to anyone going through cancer is to listen to your body, take time for yourself, and don't play superman or superwoman. I had a great power force behind me of family, friends and even strangers giving me support through meals, encouragement and prayer. It was empowering to receive prayer grams from people all over sharing with me their love and concern, and giving me the encouragement I needed each day.

Having Cancer gives you a different outlook in life, it empowers you to be more - give more - do more. It makes you realize that doing good for others is great, but taking care of yourself is a priority. It also makes you realize and remember, we're only here for a moment. There is no promise of tomorrow or later, only right now. Make the most of all you do, in all you are, and make a difference in the life of someone.

There is a saying that's attributed to Aubrey Hepburn "I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles".