My Tales

I guess I'll go back to the year 2003, the beginning of some changes in my life. I knew I had a situation that I needed to address, but due to a job change I had to postpone a doctor's visit. It was January 2004 before I could get in to see a doctor. From that moment on, my life changed forever.

I was told I needed surgery immediately and it was scheduled the following week, seemed simple enough, just a routine partial Hysterectomy. I'm not fond of hospitals or surgery, but there are times when you have no choice. I went in for surgery, woke up in recovery and realized I did not have surgery. Immediately I asked why, the poor attending nurse responded with he had no idea (liar) lol. The doctor came in to tell me he had found cancer. Wow, not what I expected or wanted for that matter. He had called a specialist and was referring me to him the next day.

I went to see the specialist, he met with me, explained where the cancer was, what the plan was, and if I had any questions. I think I must have been a different type of patient, I had no questions, I had no thoughts, I just trusted in him to get it done and over with as quickly as possible. He scheduled my surgery for the next week for a total Hysterectomy. Apparently my cancer was in the latter phase and had also spread to a few of the lymph nodes. After surgery, I made rapid healing and returned to work less than 2 weeks from having surgery. I'm not one to stay at home, dwell upon things, and feel sorry for myself. I needed to be back at work, back in life, and moving on with it.

I did go through radiation external and internal and researched what all this meant, as far as the type of cancer, etc. I knew my chances of it returning were pretty high. Six month follow up CT was good news. Six months later, the cancer had returned. I had started having some side pain about a week before my doctor visit and waited it out. I sat in my car with the CT scans in hand, looking at them for changes from the previous ones six months earlier. It didn't take a doctor to realize there was something there that wasn't there previously. I sat in my car debating what to do, I had a doctor's appointment for him to actually "read" the CT, but I already knew the answer. I debated going home and forgetting it and pretending there was nothing wrong.

I know, it sounds crazy, but in dealing with cancer you don't always think in rational terms. Life changes, your outlook, your output, and the way the world views you and the way you view the world. It's hard to describe unless you've experienced it. I went to the doctor, got the actual news, and I think the first person I called was my niece, the nurse. This time the "news" hit me hard because I know cancer travels up the body and I wasn't too happy about hearing it had traveled in only six months.

I had surgery again, this time to remove my spleen, part of my pancreas, my gall bladder and a spot on my stomach. It seems the cancer was attached to my pancreas and my spleen. I first panicked it might be pancreatic cancer, but it was labeled "Recurring Endometrail Cancer". The removal of my gall bladder was just a bonus. I ended up going through chemo for 6 treatments and really didn't experience significant side effects. After my surgery, I was determined to once again return to work in record speed, and within 2 weeks of surgery I had returned to work. I'll admit, it was a harder surgery to overcome, but I was determined to get back in a routine.

People that have never experienced cancer are not aware of the emotional and physical strain associated with the disease. Any type of pain, unusual feeling, you immediately think "CANCER" it's returned, after a while you learn not to panic and trust in your instincts and go on with your life.

I think maybe I should have played it up more in the work place, I found that being seen as so "strong" and so "capable" that it backfired in many ways. I guess my advice would be to anyone going through cancer is to listen to your body, take time for yourself, and don't play superman or superwoman. I had a great power force behind me of family, friends and even strangers giving me support through meals, encouragement and prayer. It was empowering to receive prayer grams from people all over sharing with me their love and concern, and giving me the encouragement I needed each day.

Having Cancer gives you a different outlook in life, it empowers you to be more - give more - do more. It makes you realize that doing good for others is great, but taking care of yourself is a priority. It also makes you realize and remember, we're only here for a moment. There is no promise of tomorrow or later, only right now. Make the most of all you do, in all you are, and make a difference in the life of someone.

There is a saying that's attributed to Aubrey Hepburn "I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles".